The Round Table Service Industry...(deep breath)...Blog Carnival...whew!

It's haughty...it's hot...it's HERE:

The Don't Tip the Waiter edition of the "Round Table," Volume 5!

From Raging Server: "Think of RoundTable as a magazine, of sorts. It’s published weekly - and contains highlights & links from the absolute best posts from service industry-related blogs from all around the globe."

Here's the thing...the bloggers participating in this Blog Carnival have written far too many quality posts to simply pick one and call it a day. So, I'll include links to some of my favorites, but be sure to check out the rest of these blogs for the optimal reading experience.

Upset Waitress...the little vixen blogs about everything from toilet paper sticking out from an unknowing grannie's behind to her knack for intimidating even the best of customers. But often UW's rants go beyond the four walls of her restaurant and even include these parenting tips.

Before you think UW has gone over the edge, keep in mind that her imagination is fueled by the many months she's currently spending in a South Florida correctional facility for women. See ya on the third Saturday of the month, UW.

Bitchy Waitress..."Upset" and "Bitchy" waitresses? Beginning to notice a trend? BW -- her blog is titled At Least Call Me "Miss" -- caught my attention with relevant posts regarding a succession of bad shifts. Her take on restaurant guests often includes references to the "Spawn of Satan," "Douche Bag," and "Dick" (no last name, just Dick).

My favorite posts, however, convey an accurate depiction of a server's shift: what we go through, how much (or little) we make, and the tip-out process. Kudos to BW for informing the non-serving public. At the same time, I truly enjoyed reading her very first post, which reflects the name of her blog. Great stuff!

Rumor has it that BW lost her job with a corporate chain due to inappropriate behavior during a company picnic. Apparently, after tipping a few too many chilly ones, she stripped to her thong, jumped on a picnic table, and began to juggle the Italian sausage. When the sausage subsequentally fell to the ground, she'd wipe off the dirt on her thong. "That's when I knew she was hammered," said one teary-eyed co-worker. "She's normally a very good juggler."

Manuel...ah, Well Done Fillet. Well done blog, from top to bottom. Very difficult to choose a favorite from my good friend in Ireland, so I'll introduce you to this masterful writer with his take -- and photo -- (un) covering inappropriate guest wear...but be sure to go back over all his blog posts. Definitely worth the time.

By the way, when I asked Manuel how he consistently comes up with his creative posts, he said, "I keep the ideas coming with a constant flow of hookers and chocolate...no, I'm just kidding. I don't eat chocolate."

Raging Server...brutal, no-holds-barred posts, but my favorites are in the "ghetto" category -- which is only surpased in number of entries by "stupid people" and "hell" -- because he successfully captures the essence of this particular diner. He even writes the dialogue with an accent.

One of the best from the "Round Table's" founding father is his take on less-than-desireable guests and their offspring. Yes, it's harsh, yes, it's critical...and yes, it's accurate.

I don't wish to speak out of school, but it has come to my attention that, despite all the huff & puff, Raging Server is really a shy young female from Saskatchewan who was recently fired from her job at a local orange juice factory because she couldn't concentrate. I'm just saying.

Ali...this wonderful writer has numerous blogs, but El Vermino Boulevard is the one that easily caught my attention. Ali was one of the first to comment on this blog, and has been nothing but gracious since.

While there are many posts from which to choose, a personal favorite is called "On Forgetfullness, Forks, and Tampons." That pretty much covers it. Good stuff!

Ali, the trooper that she is, works far too hard and stays up way too late...as evidenced by the fact that after she gave her cat a bath, it took her "six hours to get all the hair off my tongue."

Cassy...the categories on her blog, 1/2 Server - 1/2 Amazing, alone are worth the price of admission. Two short posts from the "WOW! That Was A STUPID Question!" category stand out.

Again, it's probably not my place, but I've heard that when Cassy goes out to eat on her days off, she orders her meals in Pig-Latin, runs around the dining room with her arms outstretched making airplane sounds, and often drapes her underwear on the back of a nearby chair after leaving the bathroom to "let them air out."

Tony Dine...while it is extremely tempting to introduce Tony by way of the Guest Post he wrote for this blog, his blog -- Dine In Or Take Out -- includes quality writing about the service industry and beyond..."beyond" including how life imitates the restaurant industry.

One of my favorite posts captures the serving experience, especially the interaction between co-workers, as well as any I've found.

Tony is a former Marine, went to college at the University of North Carolina, and currently serves at a restaurant part-time. His full-time job is cleaning all of the cells at a South Florida correctional facilty for women.

(Note from Dennis: These are the participants of the Blog Carnival of which I'm aware. If I missed anyone, please e-mail me or leave a comment. Or don't. I'm tired.)

Peace.